Whole new experience.

Everyone is gng to judge, let them judge but stay true to yourself.

I know it had been some time since I updated this blog, my life is so dull. Nothing much to say, nothing much to capture, nothing much to blog about. 

I've always wanted to shine, I've always wanted to be someone else. I've always wanted to be flawless and who doesn't want to be pretty, inside & outside? I've always wanted to try photoshoot, So I went to give it a try.

Didn't upload all photos here, but well, most of them are up here already. 

It was a total new experience and I'd fun while doing the shoot. It was very tiring. Standing under the sun, posing and hoping the photos would turn out right. Damn exhausted.

 The boyfriend was being kind and good to me that day(I'm not saying he is bad la), he actually drove me to the shooting point & accompanied me through out the whole 2-3 hours of shooting. Wanted to take photos with the MUA and photographers but well, I was too shy to ask. HAHAHA.

 There were 3 photographers in total, and this shoot was just to add onto their portfolio(and maybe mine for more events job) thus none of this was paid. I mean, I didn't pay them neither did they. Well, I actually went for this photoshoot because I wanted to try out new stuff(I've mentioned this earlier).

 Ok, I know some photos I may look awkward or don't resemble me but well, they're all me. Authentic. Confirm plus chop.

Overall, it was a nice experience and now I know, all the models that earned money through shoot was not that easy earned money. Posing under the sun for 2-3 hours was no joke. And of cos, the photographers & MUA did a great job in making up for me and also enduring the hot sun with me. Not neglecting the boy who actually fall asleep while waiting for me as we slept at quite late the previous night.

Can I say this is like a dream come true? Kind of..

Alright, it's time for me to catch my beauty sleep and yes, anyone know how to get rid of eyebag?
MINE NEEDS TO STAY AWAY FROM ME:( Help!

First.

 I may be tough at times but all I need is your assurance.

Today is a very special day for me. Apart from labour day, on this day, one year ago, I met the guy who tear down the wall I've built protecting my heart. It is a miracle that we met, fall in love, and got tgt for a year already. It wasn't too long nor was it a short journey with him. Full of ups and downs, obstacles we'd never thought we would encounter. But I guess that's what makes all this worth while..

Well, our day was simple. We watched 'hunger games' on funshion(It's 2hrs okay!! damn long but not bad), and then we headed to Jurong Point's New York New York for dinner. We didn't plan our day that well since he had to book in by 9pm. So... our choice is limited. Despite all that, I'm glad I've got him by my side on this special day. I mean.. what more can I ask for with our freedom tied down by army and stuff??

Yuppppp, forced him to take polaroid with me(EH IT IS A SPECIAL OCCASION OKAY) and while I ask him to smile @ my camera, he refused. I've totally NO idea why the boy LOVES  to oppose me in WHATEVER I do. God, pls tell me because he loves me..............

Time simply flies when I'm with him. He make me feel upset at times but well, I can't be angry with him for long because he is FOREVER joking around....... I'm in a love hate relationship with him. (I guess this is good for relationship??)

We're like normal couple, we bicker, we fight, we quarrel over the smallest thing and tiniest thing but what I hope is that.. we won't end up like what other couples did, breaking up. We both know, we are young, we've got a long way to go, let's just hope this isn't just another childish or aimless or hopeless relationship like any others. I want us to last, it is no easy task but nothing worth while come along easily.

Alrighttttttttt, I shall end this post with a very biggggggg..

HAPPY 1ST YEAR WITH CXH. ♥ 

A guide to life.

Expect the unexpected, always. 

OMGEE. Why has blogger become like this? So not used to the new layout now. So weird!! 

Been trying to find event jobs but failed badlyyyyy. School just started, hope everything goes well this sem. I need to stop procrastinating. Even the boy can't stand it...... Some photos taken during Adeline's birthday chalet! Was pretty fun though had a quarrel with the boy afte that. (What's new?)

I think I'm not handling my r/s well, I need a guide to it.

Truth to be told.

Being in love is like handling the person a gun, hoping he/she won't pull the trigger.

So... year 1 ended for me. Holidays started long ago. And... my life is basically working and boyfriend. Oh, and problems.

Headed to JB ytd for some lok lok session and drinking session which turns out to be.. fairly good. Well, nothing's perfect and I guess I'm contented with the companions of friends and boyfriend.

Shall just let the photos do the talkingssssss~

Favourite food of all timeeeeeee.














The photos are obviously not in sequence. Too lazy to do anything about it... so let it be~

Ending this post with liquor, liquor and liquor! :D

Blogged because I've got the feel but urm, nothing much anw.

Life's been... fair to me lately. I guess? Or maybe not.. it's just me who tried to suppress the emotional side of me. Which is good, to me.

The pain.

This is gng to be a post with no pictures, with just words, rantings.

Where can i start with, how I can start with this post? Yr pain, my pain or our pain. I've never cried so hard in my life like how i did ytd night. It was horrible. Waking up to realise you aren't there make things worse. I just wanna sleep in, wait for friday to come, just to see you again. I feel bad, for making you break down too. I feel bad, because you'd always been the one that held on to me whenever I want to give up. When you say you wanna give up too, tell me how to be strong from now on?

I know the pain I'd place in your heart is more than you can take. I know I shouldn't be acting this way. I know how you feel because I'd been there too. I just wish all this would fade away, and that we would be happy again. Happier than ever.

This pain I'm experiencing now is so familiar. This kind of pain I can't take it, this kind of pain changes me.

I just wish for you to be by my side through it all. No matter how tough the road seems to be or would be.

Be true.

This one month had been terrible. Horrifying. Never would I had expect us to become like this. The road is still long, the ending is unknown, nothing much can be done except accepting it as it is. Life has always been this way. Either you accept it, or you fight, but in the end, you will be at the losing end. I wish people would start accepting me for who I am. Stop challenging my self esteem because it had never once gotten so low. I want to be myself, but being myself would be destroying things/people i love the most. And I do not want to see that to happen, so tell me what to do?

I've got a side I've never show, because that side of me would never be known. There's too many angles to a specific problem, and everyone sees it in a different way. All my weak point has been known, covering up the point that you'd fallen for me at the first time. I wish, history would repeat, but only at specific moments that i adore. I want them to replay one more time, to let us re-experience the joy and happiness we once shared.

I should stop, really stop caring about how others think about me or us. But if I do that, i'll never improve and I wanna be someone that everyone would be green with envy of, someone that you would be proud of. Ironic much. Life's full of ironic stuffs. Things you'd never expect to happen, happened. Things you'd expect to happen, never did. Open your arms, welcome everything, be glad for those that happened, be it a torture or a blessing, for it once happen(for good things) and for it is over(for the bad things).

Now I wish this positive thinking would stay with me for as long as possible. I need to drive the devil in my head away, before I screw up my life. And my life is my boy.

Valentine's Day.

"You won't know how it feels until it happens to you"

SO HERE I AM.

Bored from studying the most irritating fucked up module I've ever learnt - DSS.

Don't bother asking me wtf is that, it's some lame shit excel stuff.

UPDATES.

TMR IS V.DAY! & I'm stuck with the DSS test-.- & most prolly work. NOPE. No dates this year though I'm happily attached with my bbyboy. Army takes away him:( It's sad but oh wellllllll, used to it already! ^^

NOPE. My 'paranoid illness' arent getting better. If ever there's anyone reading my blog now, PLEASE, give me some advice on how to cure it. I SERIOUSLY NEED THEM. I dw them to screw up my life, my r/s, my f/s or whatsoever not. I need to be happy, I need to be who I used to be when I first got to know that boy that seems to be the light to my world.

YEAP. I know being paranoid is the root to all problems we're facing now. STILL, I think my reasons for being paranoid is reasonable lehhhhh. K fix them. I need to fix them.

SO MANY WANTS SO LIL MONEY SO LIL TIME.

SCREWLIFE. :(